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| Hay people. I recently came back for a buddy, so I wanted to post here and let y'all know that I've grown up to become a perfectly normal, literate, not emo boy. Hurray.
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| who's this moron? I dont know a job.
RedWhtBlc (12:37:46 PM): Moo
Kiyuna15 (12:37:50 PM): hi
RedWhtBlc (12:38:14 PM): Moo Moo bitch
RedWhtBlc (12:38:24 PM): Bonjour Mes Amis
Kiyuna15 (12:38:35 PM): -.-
RedWhtBlc (12:40:12 PM): i am 15
Kiyuna15 (12:40:19 PM): i am 16
RedWhtBlc (12:41:00 PM): no the fuck u arent
RedWhtBlc (12:41:04 PM): u r 15
RedWhtBlc (12:41:23 PM): like me fo shizzle
RedWhtBlc (12:41:30 PM): my nizzle
RedWhtBlc (12:41:34 PM): lol j/k
RedWhtBlc (12:41:42 PM): but u r 15
Kiyuna15 (12:41:55 PM): okay...
RedWhtBlc (12:42:18 PM): u live in........where
Kiyuna15 (12:42:38 PM): NC
RedWhtBlc (12:42:54 PM): i knew that i dont live in NC
Kiyuna15 (12:43:29 PM): i see
RedWhtBlc (12:43:44 PM): i live in potsville
RedWhtBlc (12:43:49 PM): lol j/k
RedWhtBlc (12:44:00 PM): i live in Weezer land
Kiyuna15 (12:44:22 PM): k
RedWhtBlc (12:44:32 PM): i fuck guys like u do
Kiyuna15 (12:45:01 PM): i see
RedWhtBlc (12:45:16 PM): i am a good fucker man thingy
RedWhtBlc (12:45:41 PM): so have you done dder
RedWhtBlc (12:45:49 PM): *DDR lately
Kiyuna15 (12:45:51 PM): yeah, ddr is awesome
RedWhtBlc (12:46:04 PM): i kno i do it as much as possible
RedWhtBlc (12:46:12 PM): ^ ^
RedWhtBlc (12:46:22 PM): we rock
Kiyuna15 (12:47:46 PM): yup
RedWhtBlc (12:48:03 PM): you have no fuckin idea who this is do you
Kiyuna15 (12:48:35 PM): nope
RedWhtBlc (12:49:16 PM): figured that
RedWhtBlc (12:50:30 PM): i am job
RedWhtBlc (12:50:43 PM): i am JOB
RedWhtBlc (12:50:54 PM): I AM JOB
RedWhtBlc (12:51:10 PM): i am gonna block you ttyl
RedWhtBlc signed off at 12:51:13 PM. | | |
| I was looking back on all of that and kind of disturbed, so i decided to look into the issue, how many of you all think this sounds like me?
Symptoms
- depressed or irritable mood
- temper, agitation
- loss of interest in activities, apathy
- reduced pleasure in daily activities
- inability to enjoy activities which used to be sources of pleasure
- change in appetite, usually a loss of appetite but sometimes an increase
- change in weight (unintentional weight loss or unintentional weight gain)
- persistent difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep (insomnia)
- excessive daytime sleepiness
- fatigue
- difficulty concentrating
- difficulty making decisions
- memory loss (amnesia) episodes
- preoccupation with self
- feelings of worthlessness, sadness, or self-hatred
- excessive or inappropriate feelings of guilt
- acting-out behavior (missing curfews, unusual defiance)
- thoughts about suicide or obssessive fears or worries about death
- plans to commit suicide or actual suicide attempt
- excessively irresponsible behavior pattern
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| I want it to end, I'm tired of living here. Each of my breaths is accompanied by the dull ache of heartbreak. My life is truly a joke of the gods. They set me up to value love and honesty as the two important things in this world, and have people constantly lie to me, and reject my love. It hurts so much, sometimes I cant see, or hear. I forget who I am and what I'm doing because all I can think about is the pain. Im just waiting for my next cough to be accompanied by a spurt of blood and be done with it; I have no will to live. I fail in getting people to tell me how they feel, and I fail in love, and I fail at school, and ddr, and suicide, and martial arts, and drawing, and everything else that I am passionate about. I can't do anything right , life was wasted on me.
I am in so many ways a burden. People pity me and become sad being near me. I hate being a burden so much. My tears litter every place I visit, and someone has to clean the salt from their carpets and floors. I just want to be free of my miserable existence and let people be happy again. Strangers have to nudge me awake when I collapse from hunger or sleep deprivation. I am a curse on the world.
I have to ask everyone who thinks they care about me to turn their backs to me and not acknowledge my presence. I don't want to bring them down and make other people sad with my cursed existence. By trying to help me, they are sympathising with the Devil, and will be damned to hell. I can't let that happen to those who I care about, so they must leave me at once.
In the Japanaese language, there are several ways to say goodbye. Dewa Mata and Mata Ashita mean 'see you later' and 'see you tomorrow'. Sayonara is reserved for long term or even permanent partings. With love to all those dear to me, I must now say 'sayonara' as I will never speak to any of you again. | | |
| I chewed off my fingernail. I have little time to be depressed lately, though, because I'm so busy with class and teaching myself Japanese. I'm gunna take the placement test and kick it's ass and so get into 102 next semester, darnit, then if i need to I can retake 101 next fall along with 201. I Kind of want four majors, now, that'd be hecka shibby but hard to do. I give myself too much work *sigh*. Anyways, I'm fucking bored, though I've been hearing recently about this bi char on Achaea who's irl 16, a college graduate, who runs a store and is going to move to kyoto. I heard all that from his roommate, who I tracked down this morning. This guy is like, uber public enemy, too, totally banned from Shallam and Ashtan, and maybe Cyrene. Im an apostate now, btw, decaying things with my gently touch, and sucking the life from my fellow men with a gentle caress, etc. I love evil, YAY, lord Sartan! | | |
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